Turn the other cheek … forgive … love thy enemies … treat others as you would want to be treated … all familiar statements of peace and forgiveness. They all sound nice on a Hallmark card, but reality is another story. It’s a very difficult maneuver to pray for someone you are angry with. I have to say from experience, it doesn’t take too awfully long and you aren’t angry anymore. It’s nearly impossible to pray for someone’s well- being and remain upset with them.

I worked for a woman once – I loathed her. She was my supervisor, and frankly she couldn’t have made a right decision in my mind. It was suggested by a close friend that I should pray for this person twice a day for two weeks. I was desperate. I needed to do something different than I was doing, so I took the advice. It took nearly five days of twice-a-day work and believe me, it was work. Then finally I was able to see my supervisor in an entirely different way. I was convinced I was just going through the motions and that “no way” could prayer work in this situation. I need to tell you the end of the story: She went on to become a very dear friend and confidant. I could trust her. I learned from her, and she from me. We were both able to do things differently. We became team mates and worked well together for a number of years.

I have used this lesson many times since. Not always do I become a life long friend with the person for whom I pray, but usually my attitude changes. I have come to realize that I am the creator of my own difficulties. I am the one who alters my attitude. Most of the time, it has absolutely nothing to do with the other person. I have come to believe that I am truly just one of God’s children … and so are you and every other human on this planet. I am loved exactly the same as everyone else, no more and no less. I don’t know everyone’s story, or what makes them tick or how they perceive things. Problems where enemies are created or tempers flare are usually due to failure to communicate and perception. 

I long ago realized my husband is not capable of reading my mind. I can have the counter lined with four cakes to be baked, water running, fridge open, door bell ringing, telephone ringing and the dryer buzzer going off. Not only does he not notice I have 100 things going on, but also he can’t know what I want him to do and what I don’t want help with. I need to tell him, “Please answer the door or phone.” I try to even control my voice tone and pitch to not make it an emergency (because it’s really not), even when I am feeling tense. I have never had him look at me with TV-hazed eyes and say, “No way.” He always jumps up and says, “Sure.” I must caution you though, this is a learned sequence in our home. I certainly did not try this on day one!!